Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I suppose I should introduce myself. That seems fit at a time like this. Most people welcome each other when first meeting, with the same dull traditions. Exchange of names. Smiles. maybe even a handshake. Ive learned to display these acts when first meeting people. So maybe I should do it here as well. My name is...Well call me Andromeda. Its so very nice to meet you. I grew up in a small town. A perky little southern town if I do say so myself. Everyone was always sprinting back and forth for simple reasons. The rat race bigger cites face. Wasn't ever the case here. Just a mere mundane existence. From the very first time in my childhood I remember not wanting to make friends. To busy. To different. I felt that everyone around me seemed to be pawns. Just a chess piece on the tile of life. Whats my next move going to be..Whats going to be their counter attack? I always thought that I was lacking something. Maybe it was emotion. Maybe it was just a lack of connection. Every other child could connect to someone else. They all could identify themselves. Some of the children even displayed countless amounts of emotions. From being sad one moment. To smiling the next. What was it I was lacking? Why could I never seem to connect with my own self. Sometimes people even felt grief for their actions guilt and remorse as if they were bothered by the emotions they made someone else feel. I could never quite get it right. Though I did study more and more and try to become normal. I had to teach myself a lot of the traits and emotions others seemed to grip naturally. I had to try to make friends or at least act like I enjoyed their company. I seemed to do quite well. As most never noticed the act or mask I wore. As time grew on. People became more and more interested in the opposite sex. This seemed to be a burden. For it always conflicted with my own personal self. I was never much of the 'dating' type. I was never really seen though. I tried to avoid the existence of myself. Locked away with notes. Notes...My saving grace. Everything must be planed. Must be precise. I must keep this up. For if I slip. No one can catch me. This Hello is not really a Hello at all. But it is day 1. And we have so much more to talk about. I'm 28 now. And I think I have finally connected with myself. As most 'tweet' about what they had for dinner. You will sense a difference here. The normality you face. Is just a tilt I can't seem to straighten. Welcome to day 1.