Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Day 1--'Hello'

I suppose I should introduce myself. That seems fit at a time like this. Most people welcome each other when first meeting, with the same dull traditions. Exchange of names. Smiles. maybe even a handshake. Ive learned to display these acts when first meeting people. So maybe I should do it here as well. My name is...Well call me Andromeda. Its so very nice to meet you. I grew up in a small town. A perky little southern town if I do say so myself. Everyone was always sprinting back and forth for simple reasons. The rat race bigger cites face. Wasn't ever the case here. Just a mere mundane existence. From the very first time in my childhood I remember not wanting to make friends. To busy. To different. I felt that everyone around me seemed to be pawns. Just a chess piece on the tile of life. Whats my next move going to be..Whats going to be their counter attack? I always thought that I was lacking something. Maybe it was emotion. Maybe it was just a lack of connection. Every other child could connect to someone else. They all could identify themselves. Some of the children even displayed countless amounts of emotions. From being sad one moment. To smiling the next. What was it I was lacking? Why could I never seem to connect with my own self. Sometimes people even felt grief for their actions guilt and remorse as if they were bothered by the emotions they made someone else feel. I could never quite get it right. Though I did study more and more and try to become normal. I had to teach myself a lot of the traits and emotions others seemed to grip naturally. I had to try to make friends or at least act like I enjoyed their company.  I seemed to do quite well. As most never noticed the act or mask I wore. As time grew on. People became more and more interested in the opposite sex. This seemed to be a burden. For it always conflicted with my own personal self. I was never much of the 'dating' type. I was never really seen though. I tried to avoid the existence  of myself. Locked away with notes. Notes...My saving grace. Everything must be planed. Must be precise. I must keep this up. For if I slip. No one can catch me. This Hello is not really a Hello at all. But it is day 1. And we have so much more to talk about. I'm 28 now. And I think I have finally connected with myself. As most 'tweet' about what they had for dinner. You will sense a difference here. The normality you face. Is just a tilt I can't seem to straighten. Welcome to day 1.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Not sure?

I highly doubt any of these posts are what one would call interesting. Unless they can take the cold text displayed on this page. And fill it with the emotion that aided me to jot it down. I'm not to understanding of the changes occurring. Most times i am to caught up in the voices screaming at me each and everyday. Avoidance. Hmm. Thats something I've done a lot of over the last little bit. Small town calls for big drama. And I love to stay as far away from the spotlight as I can possibly get. I feel like I am constantly jumping hurtles to reach a undefined goal. One I think my mind made for me. But won't let me know its inner secrets. Where did all the emotion go? I tend to believe this is what emotion is like. But..Its always spacing. I did love someone once. Would of done anything for her. But as sad as it is. The one and only thing that ever brought a smile. Had to leave. I can't distinguish whats real. And whats not. And where did normal go?

I promise the next post will be better! Just a update to get my own mind off things more or less!

Will bring another blog around tomorrow guys :)

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Short update!

To drag you away from the long overbearing post. I decided I shall make a quick update on things. I recently drove 18 hours round trip to NC. Had an alright time. It could of been so much better. I caught up on a bit of Halo Reach today. Played some Slayer and Firefight. (Gotta love firefight)

I also started watching Dexter again. I love this show. In some sick twisted ways I can honestly relate to this guy. Emotions are fleeting. And when they come it hits full impact. Though I do believe this was self made. Unlike most sociopaths. But what would we really know about the minds of a killer? It could always be something different. Another fable we are always willing to believe.
But sometimes the path does lead to a pot of gold. Getting off topic here. Watch Dex if you haven't its well worth the time.

I also thought I would take the time to introduce you to my animals. Sadly one short from this picture as of now though.

The tan and white dog is Cain.
The black and brown dog is Zelda
And the kitty would be-Moo(RIP)

Ive always liked animals. For some reason I can stand to be around an animal. People are a different story. I can not stand most. Or I am always analyzing them. Why are they this way? Why are they so sure. Or are they? With animals I do not have to pretend. I don't have to put on a front. To appeal to a society that wouldn't welcome me if the mask was pulled away. And what laid dormant underneath it was exposed.

For the most part. This is about all that has been going on. Not much new. But not much different. I have some ideas for some blogs that some people may like. Or some might not. The lulz might be back soon enough. Everyone always likes to laugh. But this blog is titled "The Journey of me through the interwebz and life" For this reason. Life for me. Is strange. And viewed like a piece of art. Abstract as it is. We are always drawn back.

But I will ask you one thing before this pitch is over. What do YOU treasure most in life?

I wonder

I'd like you to take a trip with me. One without even having to leave the comfort of your own chair. The safe zone of your own self made normality. I want you to look at this picture. Within a second we have already made progress on our trip. This picture speaks to you in some sort of way. It might be telling you something of your childhood. Maybe it reminds you of times with your friends. Journey with me to your Childhood. To the beginning of you.  

I want you to think back with me. Think back to your first day of school. You can still remember the butterflies dancing in your stomach. Years and years have past to catch you up to the present but you can still fondly remember the sights and sounds of childhood. While Adult life is crowded by the mess and mingle of emotions you don't even understand. Childhood seems to be something we never dwell on much. Because as much as we hate to admit it. We know we will never see the bright days like we did when we were a child again

. During the ages of 3-6 we are setting up the building blocks to our future without us even knowing it. We are discovering what self esteem is and what it is to think for ourselves on a more mentally demanding scale. Though at this age we are still climbing the hill to Adult-Hood and are easily effected by what most people have to say. You have probably at this age started to find what you like to do besides what your parents tell you to. For example at this age. You are wanting to dress yourself in what you think looks suitable to describe the person you are becoming. Maybe your parents aided you in the process by allowing you to express yourself in short bursts. Or allowing you to pick whats for dinner that night. Did your parents show a general genuine interest in what you wanted as your own person. Or did that lay the hammer down. And tell you your life will run the way they allow it to. Fact is. If the parents didnt allow you to express yourself even for just bits at a time. You were already slowing losing yourself and trying to adapt to what everyone around you wanted. If you were being told no to certain simple tasks. Subconsciously you were feeling as though you couldn't do simple things. So did your parents allow you to become your own person. Or were you always caught up in the belief that everything needed to be done for someone else?  Traveling even further in time now. We have started to break away from our parents when others are around. But behind closed doors rely on them for almost everything.  Friend-Ship and understanding starts playing a role in this age of mental development. For at the root of all Humans we are social animals. We desire even if we don't see it. The want for social interaction. Though there is always a rule breaker. And some children fall away to discover everything on their own. Most times in school at a early age. We become friends with someone just because they like and enjoy one thing that we do. 'Utility friends' are friends that you seem to never know what happened to. Because as age progressed that one thing you used to enjoy doing. Slid away. And with that interest. So went the friend. But you may have noticed. You did have one or two friends that stood out. Because everything seemed to click and link together from the get go. These are called Character Friendships. In which you are known for being the person you are inside and out. And knowing them for the person they are inside and out. These are the friends you may of had up until High School. Or the one who became your best friend. 

Next to come is being a teenager. This is the time of life that sticks out like a neon flag in a dark room. You as a teenager. Are inclined to make rash decisions jump on the wagon for almost everything and never give anything a second thought. 

"The seat of such poor judgment might be found in the white matter microstructure in the brain's prefrontal cortex, says Marisa Silveri, PhD, a psychologist in Yurgelun-Todd's lab. The frontal cortex is associated with decision-making, insight, judgment and inhibitory control. Silveri, Yurgelun-Todd and colleagues use diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) to examine white matter microstructure, the part of the brain that's responsible for relaying signals between neurons in the gray matter. During adolescence, particularly in the frontal cortex, unneeded gray matter is pruned away and white matter, made up of axons covered by a lipid membrane known as myelin, increases.
"Similar to the concept of electrical wiring, adding insulation around a bare wire improves connectivity, and the thicker the insulation, the better the transmission of a signal from point A to point B," says Silveri. "Myelination, or the insulating of axons, allows more rapid and efficient communication between neurons."
Social Anxiety increases as well at this age in life. You are now very concerned with the way people perceive you and you are always wanting to fit into what they crowd likes. This is another section where bad judgement comes into play. You jump on board with your 'friends' to fit in. And not become a joke of the school. 

What I am getting at. The reason Childhood is so fondly remembered from my stand point at least.Is because this is where we grew into what we are today. All the experiences we ever had molded us away from our original from. And made our new John or Jane Doe. 

Did you think of anything in your childhood during this? Did you just maybe even for a second recall a nice Christmas with your family? If so. You went on the journey I wished you could have. You went back even for just a second. To the building blocks of today. The world in which you and the people around you. Created. Welcome to life. Whats next?

                                                                   *Based on personal Belief" 
*A overview of things running in my mind" 

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Halo Reach!

Alright! Lets move away from depressing stuff. Because really who wants to hear about that? I had mentioned last night about beating Halo Reach. So I believe I should do a review on it. Take in mind this is a Campaign only review. I've played the multilayer and to be honest its good enough to deserve its own review. 

Meet your new team Spartan. This is Noble Six. A group of Spartans which you are now apart of. The Convenient have invaded the planet Reach. And its your job to try and stop them.

The Campaign is short. But its so very sweet. And if you care anything about the Halo Story. You will enjoy this. Its a great opening to a great series.

One thing you will notice from the start. You are not indestructible. Its best you work with your fellow team mates. Jumping into the middle of a large crowd of grunts just might spell your death. Though Bungie still has made Halo Reach the same ol' run and gun arcade shooter we Halo players are accustomed to. 

A big change in Halo Reach is of course something you may have all heard about. Which is Armor Abilities. These are basically the same items you picked up off the ground in Halo 3. But these are a permanent armor abilities. So you can use these over and over and only (with a small cool down) Until you pick another one up that is laying on the ground.  Each will aid you in your fights amongst the ruthless enemies encountered in Reach.

  • Sprint
  • Drop Shield
  • Active Camo
  • Jet-pack
  • Evade
  • Armor lock
  • Hologram
Each of these have their pros but also have cons. For example when you sprint you can't fire your weapon. Or when you jet-pack around you are an open target.

Enemy AI is great. It feels like they know what is going on. They will translate to you. They will find you and they will kill you. And laugh about it as they hit hard. Your teams members though. God help them. They can not drive a vehicle for the world. I was drove off the side of a cliff at least 4 times before I said never again. Just drive yourself it will work faster.

Not much to say because the basis is its Halo. Not much has changed. The environments are beautiful. The campaign has you wanting more. Its a great game and Halo players and Non Halo Players Alike should enjoy this stunning beginning.


Sleep never came.

How I wish sleep would of came to me tonight. I've been struggling with sleep ever since I could remember though. It could be an effect of stress. Or the fear that my dreams are nothing less than haunting every time I drift into a supposed environment of blissful serenity. This picture seems to put my mind at rest. To some degree the layout and colors mix and mingle to form a peace in my mind. Whereas mostly my mind is a tug of war. With neither side winning. I suffer (and I use the term suffer for the very reason of its root nature) from anxiety. A worried mind assuming the worst in everything. Paranoia is right up at the top of the list as well. Most times people are able to drift from problems and sleep at night. For me I lay awake in a constant churn of devilish thoughts. To be honest I wish sleep would come even if I knew the nightmares I was going to be subdued to. As for now. My mind is racing and I feel like I am in a state of haze. I will update later. Happy blogging! 

By the way! On a more happy note. I finished the Halo Reach Campaign today. Really enjoyed the game. I feel Halo Reach is Halo at its best. Thanks for reading.

And sorry for the short uninteresting blog. Just what was on my mind :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Halloween is coming up!

Looks like its that time again. Ya know. The time we can all wear masks and not even care at all! Meh I'm sure a lot of you do anyway :). 

Click the link for even more Halloween fun!

Which is your favorite? 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Maybe this is why I'm single.

I started to think recently of why I am single. Its a pretty new thing for me. Since I was in a relationship for 5 years.  And I did believe at that time I was in love. And still yet to this day believe I was. But one trend that seems to keep popping up over and over in my mind is. Why am I still single!  After pondering it a bit I think I finally have an answer for myself. Maybe even a few answers for myself. One answer being. I'm picky. And this isn't to come off as shallow by any means. But I can not just become magically interested in something that just does not excite me. Physically or Psychologically. Being picky has limited my sources of finding a girlfriend by so much. And I do wish I could change it. Because I have met some really nice girls. That up front seemed to have the best intentions (though that always seems to change) And this is to not say that I have not tried to force myself into meeting someone even if they fall below my standards. And thing is. I am aware I am not the best looking person in the world. But that does not mean I can not go forth and say that I wont settle for what I don't want. I keep believing that even though I am single now and will not settle for this. It will aid me in the long run. Because when I do meet the person I really do like. It will be just right. And have more of a chance to jet start and not come back down for fuel. 

Another reason I seem to be having is. I built up so many walls during the fall of my last relationship. And this is not by any means to come off as a crying sob story. But during this time I was low. Mentally I was drained.    I was tired. I did feel like I couldn't move on. And I do find it so odd that one person could cause this reaction. Though I did finally get myself back into shape to a certain degree. I'm now stuck with a closed off view towards relationships and at the same time a want for another one. I will admit I am afraid to commit. For obvious reasons. Sometimes I think that it is better to be alone for the simple fact that you know what you build for yourself in your life will always stand and not run away. Though Its still that lonely feeling of not being able to share anything with someone. Before when I was proud I accomplished something or even learnt a new recipe for dinner that night. I had someone to share this with. Who took a genuine interest in what I had to say. Now I just walk around with what few friends I managed to keep after the break up. Because most of them were her friends. Because Ive only ever had just a few friends because I think its better than having a brother by your side rather than just some name in a phone or on a facebook wall. It is a helpless feeling when you are alone. Because everything you do. Is just for yourself. And when you lay down to sleep. That empty spot will always remind you. That its just you.

Another reason I do believe that I can not find a girl is for the simple reason. I really dislike people. Not all people don't get me wrong. But most people will stomp all over you to get what they want in return. Again with the maybe its better to be alone thing. But still yet I cant force myself into large groups of people that are expecting me to be something more than a body. 

I feel like I really have no purpose in life. Nothing more than just to wake up and go about my life unnoticed. I often look at people walking down the street and wonder what their story is. Maybe they feel the same way. I see single people walking and wonder if they want something more. And even sometimes I can see a couple look at each other and you can tell that fire has died. And they are not what they used to be. But are so desperate to cling onto what they once felt for each other.

I don't regret having a relationship that failed. I was given so many life lessons during that time. I was taught what it really meant to care about someone. What it meant to hate. And what it meant. To let go

But for these lessons to become of any value. I must trudge into life once again. Head held high. And a desire that can't be matched. To find happiness once again. But to be honest. We will never know what truly makes us happy. Until its gone.

      Happy blogging guys

Poll Closed!

Results of favorite Console!

Xbox 360

Nintendo Wii

PlayStation 3

If you were not aware that there was a poll and didn't get to cast your vote, feel free to leave a comment telling me YOUR favorite console or how this list should have been. Happy blogging!

While reading a blog

While I was checking my blog feed I noticed a update on a upcoming change in WoW Cata. The portals from Dal will be removed! Now from what he has said. Most people find this to be a unessicary change. But to me I find that this is a great change. Reasons behind why I think this are very simple

1. Warcraft is Warcraft. Why do Horde and Alliance hang out together?

2. Horde and Alliance seem to have forgotten their own Home Cities.

3. Mages will have use for their portals besides themselves again! 

I'm looking forward to the changes WoW Cata will bring. Why keep everything the same? I would rather play a new game that can still yet be good, but a bit different. And I for one welcome this change!

Another List?! Omegle TIME!

Alright...Lets start us off another list. Lets make this five funny omegle conversations.

Does it really work like this?!

Goldberg sank the titanic :(

I need to be the very best!
YO ima let you finish..After this blog
Names Coco Puff ;)
Lol hope you enjoyed that. I was bored so I thought id make another post. Happy blogging!

Monday, September 27, 2010

I want to spread the word!

I never thought blogging would become addictive! So With almost 50 followers (thank you guys so much) I feel like its time to start branching out. But I'm kind of confused as to how to do so. I want some more traffic and more people to follow as well. Its nice every time I post I get a comment back. Where as every other site ive tried that never happens. Even with youtube. Its a HUGE community  but I never get any responses. So if anyone has any suggestions to make some more followers id be pleased to hear what you have to say.
Thanks for all the support you gave me with the kitty post to. Lol Reach is asleep atm on my bed. He had a long day of chasing flies around. So Id say hes out for the night.

I've been thinking about maybe making some more lists or something. I seem to enjoy doing those and everyone seems to like them. I guess this is more of an update post than anything. comments are welcome. I'll post again soon guys!!

enjoy this free Wallpaper for reading :)

New Kitty!

Alright blog world people. This is just a quick post to let you in on a little secret. I got a new cat! Haha. Well ive had him for about a week but thats beside the point. Thought id share him with you

Meet "Reach"

So far hes been very playful. Kind of to the point of where it becomes annoying like when Im playing a game or eating climbing up my damn pant legs like 

He was ten bucks from a pet store in town. That comes with all his shots and stuff so he wont give me aids. :P Anyways I just might make another list later depending on how well things go.

Ask me some questions! Leave them in the comments below and Ill make a blog replying back to them. At the very least it takes two seconds of your time and allows me to make another blog 

I want to cook this!

Alright! All you hungry fools. Who wants to make this!?

I'm thinking about making some delicious Pizza Cake. Its a rainy day nothing at all to do. So a quick trip to my holy grail of grocery stores. Kroger! (exaggerated)   Swipe a Kroger Card get some points get money off gas. Hell yeah! Anyways I have nothing else to do at all so making this then watching a movie Maybe playing some Halo Reach sounds like such a good plan. But if I eat that I have a slight fear of instant death. Worth a shot right? I mean look at that. Mouth watering yet? Mine is. Yeah I think Im going to do this. If I do I will post a picture of my mangled mess of a attempt to make Pizza Cake. And if I don't make this. $1 menu for me!

Skipped the doctor

I was supposed to go get my eyes checked today. But I slept to long and kind of missed it. So I decided to take myself on a journey through my half assed town. (Small place only a population of about 35k when college isn't in session.)  But I decided to stumble myself across the rain soaked land and trudge into a tobacco outlet which I've surprisingly never been inside before. While looking around at the hookahs used for smoking weed and the roll your own cigarette machines I noticed a pipe. Nothing special at all. But its one I had been wanting for sometime but didn't want to bother with buying a used one off of ebay and getting hepatitis even after rubbing it down with alcohol.

It was a simple corn cob pipe. For about $10. I really do believe I just might go back and buy that. Since I already use Pipe Tobacco to roll my own cigarettes because pipe tobacco is so much more cheap. 

I also seen a neat little crown ash tray. Sitting on a corner rack. Pretty neat little store just because of those two objects.

Now I need to call the Eye Doc and ask to reschedule my appointment. Before I start staring at people cross eyed. Its a rainy day so I do doubt anything of much interest will spring forth. But I'm going to find something and blog again. 

Thanks for reading guys! I'll post something more enthusiastic next time around. Just wanted to explain whats going on right now.

Uh oh up to late!

Looks like ive been up far to late this night. Damn right when I had gotten my pattern back in order to. And of all nights to say "HEY I FEEL LIKE BEING BOSS AND STAYING UP ALL NIGHT" Its the night I have a eye doctor appointment. I hate when they put those drops in your eyes and you see like the sun and you are having a staring contest. But I do need new glasses so I can reclaim my nerdy kingdom.

So I leave you with this I am curious to know.

How many of you wear glasses?
How many of you do not?
And of course!! How many of you wear glasses but just wont put them on.

Leave me comments and let me know Night guys!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ready for some UGLY ANIMALS?! Yeah me either..But enjoy!

"Look MA! I caught myself a zombie pup!"

"I wear wife beaters and drink beer!"

"Vote for Pedro" 

"All we need is love.. :("
"Awww isn't he just adorable?" 
Damn..after seeing these creepy little things I can only wonder what its like to wake up and see one of them laying on the pillow next to your head.

Be Advised!

You may have noticed a paypal donate function on my blog. I am in no way shape or form expecting you to click this. But this is for anyone who wouldn't mind at all to spare any money to help me from day to day.
I do understand if you are living in America you are probaly finding a rough patch as are most of us. So thats why the function is there. Not trying to con or sucker you into something you do not want to do. But this was supposed to be a topic for ONE topic. So I will end it before I get carried away. But remember

If you would like to donate please feel free to do such. Its so greatly apprenticed. But if you can not don't worry about it at all. Just enjoy the blog and stories and whatever else my mind comes across.

Thanks much!   

Some neat Desktop Wallpapers

Neat desktop backgrounds that I have saved. Thought you might enjoy them 

Ten fun facts I came across while surfing the web bored

To lighten blog readers up a little bit. Lets all bask in the glory of ten fun facts that just so happen to cheer me up! 

1. "People who drink coffee are less likely to commit suicide than people who don't."
Add caption
2. "Humans are the only speices on earth to have face to face sex."
3. "According to one report, it would take 800 marijuana joints to kill a person - but the cause of death would be carbon monoxide poisoning."

4.  "23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts."
5.  "40% of women have hurled footwear at a man."
6.  "In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice-cream in your back pocket."
7. "All babies are color blind when they are born."
8. "Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every three minutes."

9. "More than 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people."
 10. "The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning."

Hope you all enjoyed my list of Ten Fun Facts. Comment your answers for funny facts or weird trivia! 

Top two movies I enjoy.

Let me start this off by saying these are NOT my favorite movies of all time in no way. But just some movies I feel like discussing.

Where the Wild Things Are

This movie just makes me happy. And I think there is a story in this that most people miss out on. I find this a story of growing up. Change. Being Free. And that each of us have a monster deep down inside of us. Now normally this is not the type of movie that I would of ever seen myself make a list on. But in some sort of odd way I feel I can connect to this movie for whatever reason. The monsters all want someone to take the sadness out. To have this little boy make all of them become a family again. Just as normal day families seem to of forgotten what being a family really is. Its a journey to a place we all have wished we could be one day. And for that. This movie makes it on the list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsZXKLtDb-k <--View the trailer to  "Where the Wild Things Are" here
2.  The Experiment

Now people may disagree with me on this film and say the original is better. I find this movie very intense.  The psychology of the movie is what draws me in. How even though people are so quick to jump off their seat and scream we have evolved so much and came so far. This movie might just prove to rethink that idea. The concept of what will people do at extreme measures. How much of their religion will stick with them. And wheres the beast that lives inside?  Check this one out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHlIlo6Txpk <--
View the trailer to "The Experiment" here

Stuck in the middle

I'm at a loss for words. It seems every single day there is a new issue that just really seems to be getting under my skin. May it be a certain person. Or even a certain event. Over these last few years mostly between the age of 14 through 19 Ive noticed that people who used to be my friends MOST certainly are not anymore. I ponder the changes that I myself have made of course but also examine the changes they have made as well. When you are growing up life is more about just fitting in rather than claiming anything in life for yourself. You just roll with things and act accordingly. But as you age I start to notice that most people become far more outgoing and in such lose friends that they used to just get along with because they were there. Now that I am 19 I have a lot im concerned about. To be honest I really don't even know for sure what ground I stand on. Everything seems to be getting so confusing and piecing  the puzzle together has proved to become somewhat of a challenge. I suppose you could say I am stuck in the middle. In a middle ground of trying to retain what it means to be a child but also the effect of push from adults saying I need to become such. Life always posses new challenges that we must overcome and sometimes we really don't know how to. And with that said. I suppose I will be stuck in the middle. Most blogs from here on out will not be as serious or maybe they will. I am just using this experience as part of a daily notebook to just vent my thoughts. Just to see who might relate.